Welcome to the most random weekly post series here on Don’t Look Down. Hope you can get a laugh outta this.
Remember that one time when…my friend Austin and I were out on the town one night after a Hawkeye football game. After drinking a few too many throughout most of the day and night we had a hankering for some delicious food. And that food was going to come in the form of pokey sticks.
If you have never had Gumby’s pokey sticks, you are missing out on life. On greasy, cheesy, disgusting, and disgustingly awesome pizza cheese bread. I’m sure there is one gazillion calories in that stuff, but I’m sure it doesn’t count after drinking an equally large amount of beer. It doesn’t help that Gumby’s sends out coupons for cheap XXLarge Pokey Sticks.
end side bar
So, like I said, we had a hankering for some pokey sticks. Austin attempted to call Gumby’s several times, but like the usual late night Saturday they were swamped and Austin could not get through. Needless to say we were extremely disappointed. When a drunk person wants pokey sticks, do not get in the way. The phone battery on Austin’s phone was dangerously low, but he decided to call one.more.time. It turns out that was indeed the last time. The call connected and the phone rang. And then! Gumby’s answered. Yippee! But alas, it was not meant to be, because right then, Austin’s phone died a tragic death. I cried a little inside.
No fear. We had a backup plan. Gumby’s was very close to my apartment and I had to walk by it to get home. So en route to my apartment (because Austin was so kind to walk me home), we swung by Gumby’s. Dun, dun, dun. Turns out, they weren’t taking in person orders, they were only taking phone orders. Tear.
Pokey sticks were not meant to be.
However, I can almost guarantee you that I consumed enough pokey sticks in my remaining college days.
Some days I am glad I’m not in college anymore. How much drinking and crappy food eating could my body take?